Talking about the hard stuff part 2

** this video is not meant to treat, diagnose or cure depression.  The intention of this video is to speak about my experience of this disease in order to connect with those who may be suffering, or those who know people who suffer from depression.  Our pain can often generate a desire to isolate, push away or withdraw.  This video is meant to help us connect through depression and find community, support and hope.  Much love

1 in 10 are affected, and yet no one is talking about it

Hi all,

I'm feeling called to give voice to something that has personally affected my life for many years: depression.

Apparently 1 in 10 Americans are on anti-depressants, and yet we hardly ever speak about this cloud that hangs around the head of family members, loved ones or even ourselves.

Recently many friends and acquaintances have reached out to say, "you seem to be doing so well, what are you doing!?"  I love to tell them about all the awesome work I'm up to and all the joy in my life.  What I skip over is the pain that brought me to these amazing fruits: my own depression.

To educate, raise awareness and speak about something that is sensitive and often brushed aside I've made a series of 3 videos about depression.  The first of which can be found here. I will be posting the rest in the next two days, the final one will include tools and techniques that I've used in my own life to regain control.

If you know someone who is suffering from depression by all means show them the video or put me in contact.  Depression often tells a story of isolation, and allowing ourselves to connect and be supported can offer a powerful remedy-- even if it's just a willing ear.

Much love to you all and thanks for being you,

Julie

** this video is not meant to treat, diagnose or cure depression.  The intention of this video is to speak about my experience of this disease in order to connect with those who may be suffering, or those who know people who suffer from depression.  Our pain can often generate a desire to isolate, push away or withdraw.  This video is meant to help us connect through depression and find community, support and hope.  Much love

Brain STORM: How to be supported?

So, there’s plenty of obvious ways to support ourselves—we can meditate, get a full nights rest, exercise and listen to our heart.  But to truly be self-reliant in life, must we rely only on ourselves?  That may sound redundant and ironic but I mean it quite seriously. One major stumbling block that I’ve encountered in running my own business is the idea of being independent or self-reliant is most often represented as what I’ll call false independence. 

            Let me explain.  Being responsible for our lives, for our happiness and wellbeing comes first and foremost from within ourselves.  However, as humans on this planet we are bound to one another through our shared resources, existence and yes, love.  Being independent does not mean meeting all of our needs alone. What it does mean is identifying needs and then seeking ways in which they can be met, oftentimes through the partnership of others.

            There is a huge difference between Independence, co-dependence and false independence.  For anyone like me, you lean towards false independence: wanting to go it alone, pretending that you don’t need other people for support and suppressing your needs so as not to appear needy or burdensome.  Unfortunately suppressing your innate needs has quite the opposite effect, and often you will continue to try and get them met, only this time subconsciously through patterns that can range from manipulative, stressful, dramatic or round about. 

            Not pretty, right? Well, it doesn’t have to be that way either.  Once we identify a need we have, say for physical touch, we can begin to seek out appropriate and loving ways to satisfy those natural desires.  We can enroll friends or loved ones, asking them to support us in the ways that we need and want.

            Sounds simple, right?  But when I tried to brainstorm ways that I could be better supported in my life I started drawing blanks.   Uhm…  my list was small and barely worth remarking on.  So I turned to the internet:

 

Check the internet (what is this bullshit?) I don't think the internet knows either

Screen Shot 2016-12-08 at 2.05.48 PM.png

 

I mean, I know that affirmations are important as is letting go of negativity etc etc etc. and I've recently enriched my connection to unseen support, but at the end of the day I can’t affirm myself into having a conversation about the emotional expression that I desire within my partnerships.  That has to come from a conversation with my loved ones.  It has to come from sharing.  It has to come from knowing what I want and asking for it.

So my question to you is, where have you been under supported in your life?  What are you going to do about it?  Who or what around you can you enlist in a more supportive partnership so that your needs get met.  ‘Cuz guess what, when you meet your needs life gets a lil easier.

 

xoxoxo

Julie

PS meditation is an awesome support :-P so is a Life activation :)

PPS Wikihow didn't do too bad a job!

Why am I here?

Recently I've been asking myself more and more frequently, "why am I here?"  Not the "here" like geographically, although that's a good one for another day.  But more to the effect of why here on Earth?  

With so much turbulence around me and so much raw human pain both my own and the world's I find myself asking on repeat, "what am I doing here?"  "why am I here?"  And while you could interpret that as, "what's my purpose?", what I'm really asking is "why the hell did I come here?"

When the pain within my own heart becomes so loud, and all around me I see people full of hatred or actively numbing themselves with drugs, I really had to ask, "what the fuck!? Seriously, why am I here!?"

I've been asking that on repeat for the last few days, wondering over and over again why someone would chose to be born on this planet.  Why any of us would want to be here on Earth.  And even if you don't believe that humans are choosing any of this, it's still pretty unclear why any of us are here in a world with almost no peace, filled with hatred and violence and on the brink of destroying itself.

Last night I received a healing from a dear friend that helps energy flow within your body and to remove any blocks that may be creating apathy or stagnation in your life.  This morning I woke up, feeling lighter, until my brain kicked in once more and told me about all the bullshit of "reality".  Instantly I returned to the doom and gloom fear response that has been humming quietly in the background of my existence for weeks, perhaps longer.  

But this morning as I was asking over and over and over again, "why am I here!? Why am I here!? Why am I here?  Why am I here?"  I felt a space open up in my heart.  

"You came here to be loved."  I heard.

Instantly I remembered myself as a child, all I had ever wanted was to be loved, to feel loved by my family and friends and teachers.  I had wanted to experience love in all of its splendors: summer days, hugs, birthdays, swimming, snuggling in bed, kittens, hot chocolate, being wrapped in a towel fresh from a warm bath.  I wanted the physical experience of these expressions of love.  That's why I was here, to have those and as many of those as possible.

We let so much cloud the opportunities of love that are always accessible to us, focusing instead on perceived lack, worrying about the future or angry about the past.  I believe that on some level each of us was born to experience love.

What do you need to feel loved today, whether from yourself or others?  How can you spread that feeling to those around you and help remind one another that while pain may be part of life, it is not all that we came here for.

much love to you all

Julie

PS read more about spark of life here

Finding our Power and Leaving Blame Behind

Hi there!

 

I hope you all had a wonderful day voting!  Today's video focuses on how we can use this years election not as a way to sigh and complain and cast blame, but as a powerful tool of self-awareness.

 

How can we be powerful no matter the outcome of the election?  In what way is this election asking us to heal?

 

Enjoy !

PS you can check out other blogs for more info on self-love

or consider a Life Activation because it's an amazing way to treat yourself!

Sharing your gift

Hello my dears!

The past year (or two) for me has been a time of major shi(f)t.  Again and again I feel like I'm being asked to release who I once was, or masks that I once wore in order to shine my authentic self as it is right now.  Some of that happened gracefully, and at other times I had intense resistance to letting go.  But at the end of the day, those old ways of being were not really available to me except by choosing to live in intense pain.

As the seasons in the North East shift once more, I feel that even deeper parts of me are being called forward.  As each mask, or old identity is released I experience fear that comes from a new level of vulnerability and open heartedness.  In the world we live in, being your true self can be scary.  But it doesn't always have to be.

“If you bring forth what is within you, what you bring forth will save you. If you do not bring forth what is within you, what you do not bring forth will destroy you.” --my main man Jesus

In these changes we always have the option to choose grace over suffering: to release what no longer serves us and become who we truly are.  It is up to us to be aware of when we are being asked to grow and to respond to that request.  

Discontent, anger, apathy, depression and pain are all indicators from our true selves that there is something amiss.  Even if something was once ideal and perfect for us, things have changed and we must adapt or else continue suffering.  Once we realize how we feel and are honest about why we feel that way, choices will present themselves to us.  

Here perfectionism can slow us down and block us with lies about a "right choice" and a "wrong choice."  But as we continue to choose our directions and our behavior, we become wiser and learn from our experiences.  This makes the choosing easier and helps us connect to our inner wisdom. The body is an amazing source of inner wisdom.  Listening to your feelings, which are very often related to your emotions, is an excellent strategy to begin an inner dialogue that will allow you to make more graceful shifts and transitions in your life.

For my last 8 week program I recorded weekly meditations to help clients navigate their lives.  here's a FREE link to the "Body Wisdom" meditation to help get you started.

If you're going through a massive transition right now and would like support, structure, and a way to connect more deeply to your own inner wisdom check out my program Renew.  Or consider a Life Activation.

Much love and here's to some smooth sailing,

 

xoxo

 

Always living on "just enough?"

Hello loves!  

 

Todays post is on the forefront of my mind because it's something that I'm dealing with right now, as we speak!  

Growing up, I had the impression that money was bad and to want it was greedy.  Over the years I've worked to consciously shift that belief.  I also discovered that I believed the more I got, the less others had.  Yet, even as I worked through this limiting relationship with money, I was still only making "just enough."  

I had a great session with my coach Megan Taylor Morrison yesterday and want to share my breakthrough!

Top- secret self-sabotage and what you can do about it!

Hi Loves!

This post goes out to anyone who is

  • intensely avoiding even trivial tasks and doesn't know why
  • can't bear to revise what they've written/ drawn/ performed
  • spends a majority of their energy in areas that are not their "strong suit"

Hey!  welcome to the club! (of course feel free to hang out and watch if you don't identify with those behaviors, either).

In my video I chat about what I learned about myself through those behaviors, using meditation and life activation as vehicles of greater self-awareness.  I also introduce a great way to start moving out of self-sabotage and into self-love, acceptance and, well, just gettin' shit done!  Cuz, we need your heart-centered hard work in the world more than we need your BS.  

xoxo

Julie

Co-creating conversation

Recently I've been working on expressing my needs and wants.  I realized that I wasn't feeling supported and nourished, and that actually I may have had something to do with it!  When we withhold the truth of what we most need and want we are preventing ourselves from ever getting it!  And if you want to be satisfied and fulfilled in life, well, you gotta speak up.

So, I looked at the fears which held me back from speaking up: fear of burdening people with my needs ("OMG, she's so needy!") and my fear that somehow speaking my needs was demanding and or manipulative.

Two days into speaking up for my needs and I've had some fairly significant wins, but also some muddled and frustrating responses that has been very illuminating.  In one instance of speaking my needs I received "confirmation" of being too needy.  In attempting to clarify the importance behind my expression I came off as attacking, and someone else came in to defend the person I was speaking to.

Being decidedly new territory I got curious about what had happened, and it relates to why I didn't speak up in the first place.  See, there's a difference between demanding something, defending yourself and sharing.  If I expressed my needs from a place of sharing, they were often well met.  But if there was any glimmer of defense or demand people responded to that instead (or read into it even if not intended).  

So my question now is about how we express ourselves and relate to others.  How can we share how we feel and what we need without it being a demand?  How can we share our hurts and clarify our desires without attacking or defending?  How can we be co-creators of conversation and not victims of it?

xoxo  much love!

check out life activation and creativity kit to get in touch with your desires 

Loving yourself

Even as I wrote the title to this blog, "Loving yourself" I felt myself wince at what is now a common cliche.  And yet, yes that it is really what I want to write about!

There is an epidemic out there, and it's disguised as love and care for others.  At the heart of this is lack of self-love, but even more essential-- a lack of self-knowledge.

As humans, in order to even begin the work of finding our true calling, our purpose and our passions, we must on some basic fundamental level be caring for our own basic needs.  Oftentimes we will rely on others to care for our basic needs, whether emotional, physical or other, and we do it almost unconsciously.

What happens then is that our need, which is still very much real, is now being slightly masked or minimized by our attachment to a relationship (food, money, people) and we no longer hear it calling for us.  We can go on to achieve success, but this unfilled need will continue to call us, whether loudly or as a quiet but pervasive annoyance until we finally care for it.  Ignoring this call leads people down long paths of abuse, addiction, unhappiness, consumerism and unfulfilled lives. But what happens when we care for it?  Well, that is the first step of loving ourselves!

So, if you feel called to go out and give your love away, to bath others in your radiance and affection, I invite you to take one more moment before you do that and check in with yourself.  Really check in and make sure you don't need some of that love first.

Check out this free meditation that helps you connect to your heart and care for yourself first :) PS if you're in my 8 week creativitykit you get weekly guided meditations :)

xoxoxo,

Julie

PS life activation is a great first step for connecting and caring for yourself

PPS more meditations available here